Warning: This recipe will not make you a perfect mum!

Hi. I’m Donna, and I am a less-than-perfect mum.

There, I said it. My confession is out there, the closet has officially lost a skeleton.

A few years ago I don’t think I could have made such a confession. When I had my baby girls I desperately wanted to be the most perfect mum that ever lived. The Cinderella of all mums (after the wedding), all perfectly turned out, with perfectly turned out children and perfectly turned out pies.

I baked like Nigella on ….well, ehem, just like Nigella. I lusted after Delia’s next food bible, I clambered for any book I could find on nutritious home-made food, and Annabel Karmel was a goddess as far as I was concerned.

Not now though. Oh no.

Now I bake potatoes mostly (no prep needed), I use Delia’s food bibles to prop up shelves, and less-than-perfect Nigella has become my hero for a whole new set of reasons!

Why the change? Oh I just got myself out of the house, knocked out a degree and got myself a profession I loved….and with it I got a grip!

And funnily enough my family survived!

Did the kids pack their bags and leave when I didn’t give them home-made fish goujons delicately floured and breadcrumbed alongside a selection of hand-cut sweet potato wedges and 3 home-grown organic vegetables?


Did they even care that dinner was made by Captain Birds Eye?


So why the heck did I worry so much?! Doh!

What a relief it has been to find out that the perfect mum is a mythical creature rolled out only by Disney and food advertisers.

So I have mentally unchained myself from the kitchen (not literally though, that would be a miracle) and for the most part it feels good. I still cook, but I don’t put so much pressure on myself. I know that I don’t always have time to create a masterpiece and so long as everyone eats it’s fine – it’s all about balance.

Sometimes I fancy a bit of baking though and today was one of those days.

The sun was shining, The Blonde had a cricket match on and thanks to my previous domestic goddess days I knew I could quickly knock up a tasty break-time treat before we headed off for the day. An all-time favourite, and the easiest-peasiest recipe ever – the “You Will Eat Bananas” cake.

Perfect mums and dads please leave now because there is nothing perfect about this recipe…its a knock up and leave kinda scenario…but if like me you have more in life to think about than whether your icing has formed the perfect swirl, you might just get on with this:

Disclaimer no.1. I NEVER prepare recipes in bowls, this is purely for your benefit in the photo to see what is included – so don’t bother doing this yourself either, it’s a waste of time and just creates washing up. Just mix things in one at a time in the order of the list below.

Disclaimer no.2. I’m too lazy to measure ingredients, fortunately my days of hard slog over the oven have left me with a good eye for measurements. I have included them here but rest assured this recipe is robust, a bit more/less of this or that won’t do any harm at all.

Disclaimer no.3. My girls hate bananas! Mwah ha ha ha ha….they don’t hate them in a cake!!

So here’s the recipe for “You Will Eat Bananas” Cake

"You Will Eat Bananas" Cake - Pink Fizz and Ponytails

“You Will Eat Bananas” Cake – Pink Fizz and Ponytails

125g Butter or Marg (whatever you have in the fridge will be fine)

150g Soft Brown Sugar

2 Eggs

225g Self-Raising Flour

1/2 tsp Bicarb of Soda

1/2 tsp mixed spice or Cinnamon

Approx. 2 stinky over-ripe bananas (don’t bother mashing, just break up and throw in mixer)

1 tbsp sour cream (creme fraiche or plain yoghurt also fine)

Demerara sugar for sprinkling (use a lot or a little, it’s up to you)

Simply mix in one ingredient after the next in the order above – use a mixer if you are lazy like me, or use your wooden spoon if you fancy the exercise, or best of all – get your kids working at it.

The batter will split into two average sized loaf tins, giving you one cake for now and one for the freezer (cut it up first and it’s perfect for a quick addition to lunch boxes).

Don’t bother with greasing tins and cutting our greaseproof paper, that is such a faff. Buy some loaf tin liners from your local 99p store instead – they are so quick to use, make transferring cakes out of tins very easy and a real bargain to boot.

So put half the mix in each tin and sprinkle liberally with demerara sugar, this will turn into a lovely crunchy topping once cooked.

Next pop the two tins in your oven at 180 degrees for 30 minutes (fan). Once they have risen and are crunchy on the top and soft (but not gooey) in the middle you’re done. Banana cake ready!

And here’s the result you’re looking for:

You will eat bananas cake - pink fizz and ponytails

Perfect Banana Cake cooked by a less-than-perfect mum

Actually, no. Here’s the result you are looking for:

The Blonde and The Banana Cake

The Blonde and The Banana Cake

And now, fellow less-than-perfect mums and dads, your time in the kitchen is done, pop the kettle on, sit back and enjoy.

Or in my case, crack open the flask, soak up the spring sunshine and praise the Lord for a child who has chosen the highly civilised sport of Cricket as a hobby! More tea darling? Don’t mind if I do….



  1. Wonderful Donna! Thank you for your recipe, Megan was adamant she wasn’t going to eat it and guess what…she did! Made these quickly this morning and they are all gone! Xx


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