The First Supper – An incredible story from the NCT

NCT Supper Club, national childbirth trust

NCT Supper Club at The Races

In 2002 our lives changed forever.

Our first baby was due in November and without family living nearby, and a bit of a rocky start to pregnancy, I was acutely aware that as bumbling new parents we would need some ‘baby friends’ for support.

I’d heard that The NCT was the place to be but to be honest I was a little sceptical, it might all be a bit hippy for me. I like science and drugs (the legal ones), what if they all want to do is pant, chant and breathe to ‘relieve’ the pain? How will I ever cope?

The Hubby was a lot sceptical, he was probably thinking the same as me about the drugs! But nevertheless, determined to soak up every pregnant-mum opportunity I quickly signed us up for classes later in the year.

Before we knew it the time came to visit our first class. It was a nerve-racking experience, suddenly we were in a room with a bunch of other people, some looking a bit tentative, some looking as sceptical as The Hubby, but all looking friendly, phew!

Of course we already had something in common, we were all here for our babies, our families and friendship.

Time ticked on, the weeks passed by and the bumps grew and grew. We came to look forward to our NCT classes so much, they would inevitably end in naughty jokes, tears of laughter and blushing faces. Well, we were talking about boobs, bumps and childbirth after all!

Over the coming few months we got to know each other really well, just in time for our 5 beautiful babies to be born.

They arrived all in the ‘wrong’ order, none according to the finely tuned birthing plan that had been carefully written to include every eventuality (except the actual eventualities of course).

Some babies were an early surprise, some long-awaited. All truly were loved. And plenty of (legal) drugs were readily accepted along the way!

There were 3 gorgeous girls and 2 beautiful boys. We were so blessed to have them, and to have each other.

NCT Super Club, national childbirth trust

5 Beautiful Babies – our little redhead is in the middle, bottom row, not working it for the camera today thanks Mum!

We had become firm friends, meeting up after class for the men to talk about, well, goodness knows what the men talked about over a pint, and for the women to talk about every part of the anatomy imaginable (ours and our babies), about our hopes and fears, our parenting successes and failures, and everything in between.

We had done it. We had put all that panting into action and given birth. Now we were mummies and daddies, and life would never be the same again.

But then, in the midst of our joy came the most painful blow imaginable.

One of our precious team, one of our beautiful mummy’s, was diagnosed with cancer.

Not much more than a year later we lost the funniest, loudest, naughtiest and most vivacious member of our mummy team.

We were devastated. And we were lost. How could we ever help to fill the hole that one of our beautiful babies and his daddy now had in their lives?

For a little while we swayed, hit by an emotional hurricane and not sure how to hang on. And with babies to attend to, work to juggle and babysitters to find, it suddenly it became harder and harder to see each other.

One of our beloved couples had now also moved to Australia and another gaping hole appeared in the heart of our group.

In our state of flux we were losing each other.

This has to stop, we thought. These friends have got us through the worst days, have laughed with us on the best days, and have been there every moment of our little girl’s life. What can we do? We must find a way out of this hole.

And that’s when we started The NCT Supper Club.

The rules were simple:

There were four families here, and twelve months in the year. All we needed to do was commit to one evening every three months and that would be our night. The NCT Supper Club night. A date that was set in stone when each couple would take it in turns to make supper for the gang and everyone would have a night off the kids.

No more than 2 courses. Or call for take-out if you were feeling knackered.

Bring bottles – wine, not baby.

Eat, drink and be merry.

And so it began. The First Supper.

And so we started to find ourselves once more.

And then one night an amazing surprise arrived at the table.

She was beautiful, funny, kind, and a little bit naughty! She had captured the hearts of one special daddy and his baby boy, and then she captured ours. She had so much love to give, she was the perfect fit for our special group, and the perfect fit for one very special family.

Fast forward 12 years and those 3 baby girls and 2 baby boys will all turn into teenagers later this year. We are so proud of them all and their wonderful siblings.

Of course our mummy in the stars and our Australian team are never far from our hearts and minds, but more than a decade on the Supper Club is as strong as ever.

There have been almost 50 NCT Supper Club nights to date, plus our days to get all the kids together with Christmas parties, summer barbecues, family race days and all manner of christenings, birthdays and celebrations along the way.

NCT Supper Club, national childbirth trust

Who dunnit? Murder Mystery Night at NCT Supper Club 2007

Supper has involved everything from murder mysteries to race nights, fancy dress to barbecues, musical mayhem to pub quizzes. All a little disorderly. All a lot of fun.

And our children have grown up along the way, but we certainly haven’t!

So thank you NCT, for the support, for the panting, and most of all, for some of the best friends in the world.

Donna xx

How did you make mummy and daddy friends? Did you join the NCT, or perhaps another group? Would you think of having your own Supper Club, or have you got other ways of keeping in touch as your babies get older? Do tell! I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas xx

Comments

  1. I absolutely adore this post – so much warmth and love and so many miracles and I’m so glad that you have a new member who has been accepted at a level that is a credit to you all. May there be many more years of friendship and good times! Thank you for linking up to #MBPW X

    Like

    • Thank you Anya, you are so right, it’s warmth, love and miracles that have kept us all together – oh and wine of course ;o) I remember reading The Fat Ladies Club when I joined our NCT group, and I laughed and cried in equal measure. But before that I was in a bubble, I thought if you had a baby you were invincible – you were a mummy, and nothing would separate you from your baby. Then as time went on reality hit hard. We were so lucky to have such a strong connection though to keep us all together, and even luckier to find our beautiful mummy number 6.x

      Like

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